Whew....what a week!!

So thankful that today is Friday and the weekend is here! Have had a wonderful week at work but very busy! Tomorrow I get the wonderful task of shopping for Christmas gifts. I say this with the utmost sarcasm! I love the Christmas season...don't get me wrong, but I hate how the world has commercialized it the way that they have! I mean...it's not about what's under the tree...it's about the birth of a precious baby boy over 2000 years ago and the events that unfolded over the following 33 years of His life. I want to be ever-conscious of the true meaning and not allow myself to get caught up in the stress of what this season can bring.

My tree is up and quite beautiful I might add! I love to decorate!! My house will be completely decorated by the weekend if I can sweet talk BJ into climbing up and down a ladder!!! He conveniently didn't hear me when I was talking about it earlier!! LOL...I'll get through to him, and if I can't, there is a beautiful brown-eyed little girl who can!! Ahhh the power of persuasion by a preschooler!

I hope this Christmas you are blessed beyond what you could ask or think. So that you know that these blessings come from the Lord. The greatest gift we could ever receive is the gift of eternal life by Christ Jesus. That a King would leave a life of royalty in Heaven to be born a human. To battle the same battles that we do. To live a perfect and blameless life. And to die a horrible and shameful death...all so that we might be given a better life for eternity.  That's a powerful gift!

Blessings to all of you! Much, much love!

-Carmen 

Lots to catch up on!

It's been too long since I have sat down and typed here! So much has changed over the past few months that I could sit and type for hours!

Chloe is almost 5 now and we have so much fun with her watching her grow and learn! She is such a great joy!  BJ and I celebrated 8 wonderful years of marriage together this year and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't thank God for blessing me with such a wonderful man to share my life with.

We have been wanting another baby for some time now and have been "not preventing" since the first of the year. I know that doesn't seem like a long time but when you want something so badly that it consumes your thoughts...it can be long!

In October I got really "real" with God and told Him quite frankly that if He wasn't going to fulfill my desire of another child any time soon then for Him to please remove the desire from my heart because the monthly disappointment was just becoming too much for me. He answered by sending me a message at Ladies Agape, a women's conference that is held every year at Russellville Christian Center. 

I was contacted a couple days before the conference by one of the speakers and was asked it I was going to be able to attend on the night that she was speaking. I told her that I didn't think I could make it that night but had planned to attend the following night. She urged me to be in prayer to come because the Lord had shared with her a special message for me. She had no idea that I would go that morning to my doctor to be told that the pain that I had been having in my uterus could not be helped except but to remove the uterus or go back on birth control pills...both of which kinda put a damper on having another baby!!! :) But as I had walked out of the doctor's office I was still holding on to my faith that I served a healing God and that I would be healed completely! So I made the decision to go that night to hear Cami Cantu speak and to receive whatever it was that God had for me!

You see...it's all about expecting! That's part of having faith! You have to expect something to happen! And as I walked into the church that night...my heart was full of hope and excitement! I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going to walk out of that church later that night, healed and changed! 

The message was on Hannah and how she pleaded with God to give her a child! WOW...that was so ME!!! As the story goes, Hannah was granted her request and she in turn gave her first child, Samuel, back to God at the age of 3 and Samuel was greatly used by God in his life.

Cami then called anyone who was a "Hannah" to go to the front for prayer. And it didn't have to be just for children, but for anything that you were asking God for! She then singled me and another young woman (who was having trouble conceiving) out to the front to be ministered to.  Here it was...the Word from the Lord that I had been waiting for! I was so excited! I was crying so much at this point that I couldn't stop. I was sad...I was broken...I was expecting...I was ready for a change. The Lord then spoke through her to me and NAILED IT! I mean...everything from the conversation we had had...to the doctor's appointment...to the wonder of why I had a beautiful daughter and couldn't seem to have another when I wanted it so badly! Cami spoke directly to the problems in my uterus and I instantly felt a shift in my body and for the first time in months...no pain! I was healed! I accepted my healing and vowed that I would hold on to it and not let it go! She also told me that I would have my baby boy that I so longed for and that it would be soon! There was much more but I haven't had time to process it all and listen to the CD again.

I left there with a great sense of hope and faith in my Lord. Not to say that I didn't have it before, but I had the confirmation that I so needed to push forward!

So the way it worked out...I would find out that I was pregnant on Thanksgiving Day if my body followed its normal pattern. How excited I was to know that in just a few short weeks I would be pregnant and on my way to carrying such a blessed child. My heart was overjoyed!! I could hardly wait for Thanksgiving to get here!

On Thursday, November 17th, I woke to sharp pain in my uterus and right side. I brushed it off and tried to fall back asleep. BJ left to go hunting and when I got up about 6:30 to get around for work...I could barely walk through my house the pain was so bad. I called my mom and dad who prayed with me and then my sister. I was throwing up from the pain at this point so I called BJ to come home and then to my dad to come get Chloe to take her to school. At this point I didn't know what to think of the pain. I could find some relief by laying in a fetal position on my bed and just weep! It was pain like I had never felt in my life.  I managed to get Chloe's hair put up and dad took her to school. BJ helped me get dressed and we were off to Russellville. 

I was hurting so bad at this point that I was loopy. I was pleading with God to help me with this pain, to relieve it, to ease it up...ANYTHING! Once we reached Dardanelle, the pain had begun to ease up.  We arrived at St. Mary's Emergency Room at about 8:30 and I was quickly shown a room. 

The nurses were so good to me! They took my blood, vitals...all that good stuff and hooked me up to an iv.  I finally got to see the doctor who told me that I was pregnant. My heart was overjoyed...but my body was still screaming at me in pain!  They gave me some medicine for both the nauseousness and the intense pain.  They then did an ultrasound and it reveled a 7mm (about the size of a baseball) blood mass on my right side by my ovary. My doctor was called in and he came in the room to tell me that I was going to need surgery. Wow...not what I had expected to hear! The mass was one of two things...a cyst that in early pregnancy produces hormones before the pregnancy takes over and does it or it was a tubal pregnancy. As soon as Dr. Escue said that...I said, "But it's not that...it's just the cyst." He in turn said that he was believing with me for that result but had to inform me of all of the possibilities. 

I was still holding tight to my promises that God had given me. I wasn't going to give up hope in the face of fear! Surgery would take about an hour and they would start in about 15 minutes.  I told BJ that he needed to get something to eat while I was in there and we kissed and the wheeled me back to pre-op.  I had a wonderful staff of nurses in pre-op but the biggest blessing was yet to come. While in the operating room, I was blessed with a precious nurse by the name of Brenda Randalls. She grabbed my hand and asked if I would like her to pray. I said yes and she bent down and whispered the sweetest, calming prayer in my ear and then wiped my tears and kissed my cheek. Just like my momma would have done. She can't begin to know how much that meant to me during that time. After that...I was out!

The surgery took about 2 hours and when I got back to the room I saw my sweet husband waiting for me. I asked him what they had to do and although they told me in the operating room...I don't remember! He told me that my tube had to be removed because it had ruptured. I asked about the baby and we cried for a bit, but being the strong man that he is, he turned it around quickly and told me that everything was going to be ok and that Dr. Escue said that pregnancy from now on would be much easier for us. Because my right tube had been bad for a while evidently and that could have been what was keeping us from conceiving. I was encouraged, but sad...

We left the hospital at a little after 4 that afternoon and I went home to bed. I was exhausted but wasn't in a lot of pain. The recovery wasn't too bad and I am pretty much back to normal.

I tell you all of this because I am determined to give God all the glory in this whole situation! I believe that God blessed me with a child and that it was stolen from me by Satan. God didn't plan for me to go through this hurt and pain (both physical and emotional.) But instead...God takes what Satan tries to destroy and turns it around for my good and I believe that I will be overwhelmingly blessed with the child that I will soon carry. I hold tight to His promises! I will not waiver. My faith will not waiver and my hope will remain steadfast! I am so very thankful for my strong faith! That I don't blame God for what unexpected things have happened but yet, look to Him to turn things into blessings! Through our trials we gain more faith if our faith is used! It grows with each trial we overcome! I am so excited for what is to come for me and my family!

I will try to do better at posting as all of this unfolds! Thanks to all of you who have been in prayer for me and believing with me! Much love!!! Please remember to hold on to the promises of the Lord! And even when Satan steals things from your grasp...look to the Lord for strength and greater blessings!

Why do we try so hard?

I guess it's our human nature (for most of us at least) to try and be as close to perfect as possible. I have given up!!!!!

WOW...what a relief that was to finally surrender all to the One that created me and loves me as imperfect as I am. I finally realized that it doesn't matter how hard I try to please everyone in my life, that it is simply not possible. I have not had some life-altering situation or anything...it's just a realization of the marvelous grace and mercy of the Lord Jesus. 

So many times, we try to be perfect before coming before the throne of God. How selfish is that??? Why do we wait to have an abundant life here on earth? The beauty of His grace is that He loves us in spite (if not because of) our imperfections. He loves to help us fix our mess ups. HE REALLY DOES!!! But how many times have we thought..."Man, I need to really get my act straightened out before I can ask God for His help on this problem I have." I mean seriously...we have all done it! No shame in it really. We are, after all...just humans. We, in our minds, think that WE have to make things better. That WE can fix things. But the truth is...WE mess things up. If we would just surrender and let GOD handle it, we would save ourselves a lot of work, grief, worry...etc.

If there was such a thing as perfect people in this world then God would be a murderer. And we know that that's not true...so then Jesus' death had to be for a reason! To clear our pasts of any imperfections and make us as white as snow. Now...that's not to say that we won't screw this up...because we probably will!!! But again, His grace is enough to cleanse us and His mercy is enough to guide us from wrong. We just have to pay attention and follow Him.

Our lives would be so much easier if we would learn to surrender early on in our lives. So many people in this world are waiting to "get things right" and for some...they wait too long and their lives end before they know the love and forgiveness of Christ Jesus. Romans chapter 3 lays it out pretty clearly to us, starting in verse 22. (New Living Translation)

22. We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are.

23. For everyone has sinned, we all fall short of God's glorious standard. 

24. Yet God, with undeserved kindness, declares that we are righteous. He did this through Christ Jesus when he freed us from the penalty for our sins.

25. For God presented Jesus as a sacrifice for sin. People are made right with God  when they believe that Jesus sacrificed his life, shedding his blood. This sacrifice shows that Gos was being fair when he held back and did not punish those who sinned in times past,

26. for he was looking ahead and including them in what he would do in this present time. God did this to demonstrate his righteousness, for he himself is fair and just, and he declares sinners to be right in his sight when they BELIEVE IN JESUS.

27. Can we boast, then, that we have done anything to be accepted by God? No, because our acquittal is not based on obeying the law. It is based on faith.

28. So we are made right with God through faith and not by obeying the law.

31. Well then, if we emphasize faith, does this mean that we can forget about the law? Of course not!!! In fact, only when we have faith do we truly fulfill the law.

So there is is in a nutshell...we as humans cannot buy our way in to Heaven with our good deeds (following the law.) Only by the faith in Jesus and the confession of sins to Him do we obtain eternal life. 

The moral of this blog....stop waiting. WE can't fix what we have messed up. Only God can fix us. He makes this so much easier. We waste so much time trying to make things better when if only we would just surrender and give it all to Him. He will take the burden and works things out in your favor. He does all the work and you reap the benefits. 

My prayer for those of you reading this that might not know my Jesus...that you would come to know Him and enjoy the wonderful life that He has in store for you. It's not too late! For those of you who know Him but are holding on to things, my prayer is that you relinquish all control to Him and let Him do the work for you.

Loved by the King,

Carmen

Wow...I really stink at keeping this thing going!!!

Well it has been almost a year since I last posted anything on this blog! When I started it, I didn't think I would be very good at keeping it up but thought..."What the heck, everyone else has one. I think I will start one as well." Knowing good and well that I didn't have the time to keep it up!!! LOL...it's a good thing that I don't have any followers!!! My plan from here on is to try and post at least once a week with what the Lord is placing on my heart to share. I want this to be a tool for Him to use!!!

Well here is is 2011 and the start of what is going to be a wonderfully blessed year!! I start my new job on Monday and I am really excited. It is very bittersweet leaving "The Shack" after almost 7 years with the people that have become family!! But all things must change after so long. I look forward to the blessings that God has in store for me, just because He loves me.

Speaking on that...isn't it awesome to think about how much He really does love us!!?? He has not only provided us with eternal salvation but He has provided us a way to have a BLESSED life right NOW! We have the blessings of the Lord around us at all times and the favor upon us...if we'd only take the time to look. It's there...it's always been there. It's not just coincidence that you have a front row parking spot at Wal-Mart or the you saved an extra $10-15 but going to the grocery store on a certain day the they were having a sale! That's favor!!!! And it's there for us because He wants nothing but the best for His children!

I have purposed in my heart to live each and every day with a smile on my face and a song in my heart because I am His. I choose not to live as the world lives because in it is a life of death and destruction. No good comes from the world but all good comes from the Father above. Doors are opened to them that trust in the Lord and are willing to follow His lead. But once those doors are opened...YOU have to walk through. Though the steps may seem scary and uncertain, you have to trust that God is leading the way and all you have to do is walk in His footprints.

Scary...yes! I have had to walk through some doors lately that scared the pants off me! But I trust that He is leading me to where He has made a place for me. That's exciting!!!!!  It's like a treasure hunt each and every day! I'm excited when I think of what He might have in store for me!!! His promises are "Yes and Amen" to me, His beloved!!! He fulfills the desires of my heart above and beyond what I could have ever hoped for!!

And He will do that for all of us!! That's what so awesome...there are enough blessings to go around, and around, and around!!! There is an endless supply with the Master!! All you have to do is tap into those blessing NOW. Why wait until you get to Heaven, when you can have Heaven on earth!!!!

Woo...Now that I've preached myself happy...I think I will get going to the day's tasks ahead.

My prayer for each and every one of my friends is that if you haven't found Jesus, that you begin to seek Him and learn of his marvelous love and mercy. If you already know my Jesus...then my prayer for you is that you learn to walk in His blessings each and every day. We as Christians have no need to be depressed and downhearted. We are loved by the most AWESOME GOD and through Him there is life, health, peace, protection and never-ending mercy and grace.

Be Blessed,

Carmen